Into the trite, I commend thee

Or: Things Constantine taught me that I already knew

Here are the first 16 that came to mind . . .

• Anything with a cross on it kills demons [and vampires].
• Anything blessed by a priest kills demons [and vampires].
• Demons are a lot like vampires.
  
• Hell is Los Angeles after a hydrogen bomb.
• Spoofing comic book cliches while also slavishly exploiting them isn't hip or tongue-in-cheek or post-modern.
• Smoking is risky.
• You don't have to worry about plot holes if your source material is dogmatic tradition.
  
• Committing suicide is risky.
• You don't have to worry about plot holes if your hero is always running.
  
• "There's no 17th act of Corinthians"
• Suggesting the Bible has missing chapters no one has ever seen is a great way ease your guilt over all those damn plot holes.
  
• The nice-guy-is-a-crazy-villain twist ceases to be a twist if every movie has a nice guy who's really a crazy villain.
  
• Gavin Rossdale is in league with Satan.
• The William Shatner cadence delivered by any one else still sounds like William Shatner.
• Gavin Rossdale dressed up like Morrisey still sucks like Gavin Rossdale.
  
• The Earth bar where Satan's minions kick it plays adult contemporary rock--just like Gavin Rossdale.

. . . also the actual number of chapters in Corinthians.

Bonus: no one on the internet grasps the difference between commend and command.
Also: lots of people on the internet liked Constantine.